Damn, but it's hot[1]. Nothing for it but to retreat into the darkened cave of the house, windows heavily draped against the sun, and listen to the AC compressor laboriously convert our bank account into coolish dryish air.
So what do you eat for dinner[2] when it so stinkin' hot you don't want to turn on the oven or stove, and you can't afford to eat out because you've spent all your money attempting to drain heat from the house, and besides going out involves interacting with -- with people? And you've already eaten as many green salads as you can stand, plus that thing M. makes with the croutons and the white beans and balsamic vinegar[3], which is really tasty but the kid turns up her nose at it?
This, then, the dilemma facing me as I stood staring towards the hulking mass of the refrigerator. The solution? First, you pour yourself a glass of cheap-but-not-crappy sparkling wine[4]. Get those creative ideas going. Then, take a baguette and slice it into 2-cm. thick slices - at an angle to give more surface area. Place the slices on a cookie sheet or equivalent and put the bread aside for the moment. Pause. Drink, slowly. Get a pair of scissors and go out into your backyard. Curse the heat[5], the humidity, the relentless blazing sun. Pick a good handful of fresh basil, and about a 6-inch sprig of oregano out of your herb garden[6]. Select 3 or 4 medium-sized ripe tomatoes off your tomato plants[7] and pick them, too.
Go back inside. Finish glass; another? Sure. Chop the basil, oregano, and 4 or 5 cloves of garlic into little bits, dice the tomatoes[8], mix all the plant stuff together, and then distribute evenly over the baguette slices. Top with slices of cheese (feta, or, bowing to offspring pressure, cheddar). Drizzle olive oil over the lot, broil[9] until cheese gets bubbly[10].
[1] Yes, I'm whining about the heat when there are people without electricity stuck in the same heat.
[2] It's another hard-hitting, topical posting here at ProgReac! Look, it's not that I don't pay attention to the news. But frankly, I can't see any reason why anybody else should care about my opinion on world or national events. Anything I'd be inclined to say I'm sure has already been said, better than I could say it, somewhere else. Adding value, people. I've already got all the captive audience I need here at home, people I can harangue in person, and even tell to go to their room if they disagree with me.
[3] Sort of a panzanella, I think.
[4] Chandon, in this case.
[5] See little picture in upper left corner.
[6] In Iowa, everybody gets to play farmer!
[7] Last year was the first year we grew tomatoes, and we became addicted. Nice, vine-ripened tomatoes, (almost) ad libitem, ones that would easily go for $2.99 a pound at the local Proletarian Food Dispensing Facility (a.k.a Cub Foods, home to the lowest-quality produce in the Upper Mississippi Valley). This year we started 4 plants, and the tomatoes have started rolling in.
[8] Or cube, or whatever. As long as the final product is slightly less than 1 cm across.
[9] OK, we end up having to turn the oven on, which was what we were trying to avoid. But it's only the broiler, only for about 5 -10 minutes.
[10] The offspring turned her nose up at this too. "Ick, cooked tomatoes." Serpent's tooth, etc...
Why do the crew members sing when they receive a tip?
The "Entertainment Factor" is meant to lend a fun, festive atmosphere in our stores and to set us apart from the competition. We seek out crew members who like to perform and we "audition", rather then "interview" them. Many of our crew members enjoy the singing so much that they develop new songs themselves....and sure enough, on a recent hot Saturday M. and I stepped into the shop to be greeted by the sight and sound of the entire staff, standing behind the counter, singing some little ditty in unison while pirouetting and holding their hands over their heads. We couldn't see the faces on the waiting customers, so we don't know if they were pleasantly charmed or waiting politely while thinking, "ummm, where's my freakin' ice cream, dammit?"
As for M. and myself, we walked out at once, vowing never to return.
Early morning at the local pond.
Because something's gotta get posted. Remember, calm.
Larger image, for the bifocal set
Paper plans to correct unfortunate head
AMES, Iowa, June 30 (UPI) -- Editors at Iowa State University have had second thoughts about a headline on an insert for the Special Olympics that reads "Ames for Dummies."
