A-caucusing we will go (wherein I fail in my task). So, enacting my Edwards-thwarting plans, I headed to our local Democratic caucus site. Along with hundreds of other people, I jammed into the local high school... and not a moment too soon; I didn't realize that the caucuses not only started at 7pm sharp, they don't let anyone in after 7pm either. I was the 5th-last person in.

I joined a long line of independents waiting to change party registration. I am now a Democrat (it burns! it burns!). After undergoing the transformative operation, we joined another line, which terminated in a seated group of the elderly people who always seem to run all things electoral, waiting behind a folding metal table. I signed my name and was given a small, blank square of paper. "Hang on to that!" I was told. (We never did anything with them.) We filed in little groups into the school's auditorium – which was packed, standing room only.

The first order of business was to get an exact count of caucus-elegible people in the room (there were a number of little kids running around – I assume they didn't get counted). The whole business was run by three elderly women, who had each row stand up in succession and count off from one end to the other: "One hundred thirty! One hundred thirty-one!" Every so often someone would mess up the count; the women in charge would roll their eyes – Can't you people count? – and pause until the counter got the number right. There were 625 of us – a record-large crowd, apparently. The bizarre rules of the game stipulate that a candidate needs to get 15% of the crowd to be considered viable; less than that, and the candidate's supporters either leave or join up with a more popular candidate. So there was a momentary hush as the women on stage calculated 15% of 625 (94, rounded). Any candidate unable to drum up 94 supporters was doomed.

So now we did the famous shuffle: all the supporters of a given candidate gathered in some part of the auditorium, but it was so full that moving around was difficult. The Biden supporters had to meet out in the hall; Richardson's, Dodd's, and Kucinich's groups met up on stage. It was a festive, party atmosphere; Kucinich had all of 6 supporters, but they got a huge round of applause just for not giving up immediately. Two things were immediately obvious; (1) Obama had more support than anyone, and (2) the only contest was going to be between Clinton and Edwards for second place. After the first round of totting up supporters, it was clear that everyone besides Obama, Clinton, and Edwards was doomed.

So now came the second part of the festivities; people from the larger groups would wander over to the too-small groups, and try to talk their members into joining one of the larger groups. Obviously, I was no use in this... "Uhh, vote for Hillary because she's... well, she's not John Edwards. Yeah, that's it." Everytime someone split off and joined another group, the people in the joined group would cheer and clap wildly. During this time, I thought about the caucus system, and decided that it was probably constructed by a bunch of bored farmers who just needed something to do in the wintertime. They could have just had a straight up and down ballot, but instead, decided to construct an elaborate social event out of the process... because it is intensely social, friends, neighbors, their kids, all gathering for a big gabfest and talking, talking, talking.

For about half an hour, the doomed candidate's groups gradually shrank (except for Richardson's group – they stood in a tight block on stage, radiating a what-are-you-gonna-do-for-us vibe). Those of us without the enthusiasm to go and evangelize for our candidate sat and waited; the woman next to me alternately checked her Blackberry and her cell phone. I saw two co-workers and my next door neighbor over in the Edwards group.

Eventually, the coordinators called time, and said that all the non-viable candidate supporters had to make up their minds; the Richardson group now split, streaming people into the Clinton and Edwards groups mainly. It was time to do a second head count. From my counting, it was clear that Obama had a commanding lead, and that it was going to be a squeaker between Clinton and Edwards... 260 for Obama... 174 for Clinton... no, 177 for Clinton, they forgot the three women on stage... and 180 for Edwards. The Obama and Edwards groups went wild. The Clinton group sat quietly. The woman next to me looked up from her Blackberry, said, "Edwards??", and made a sour face.

Posted by David Fleck at 03 January 2008 09:24 PM