Periodically, either the Big-City Newspaper (well, Medium-Sized City Newspaper) or the local Small Town Newspaper attempts to woo us, leaving unasked-for free copies on our doorstep for a period of several weeks before going away, dejected and spurned yet again. And yet hope springs eternal in the ink-stained breast, apparently, and the Small Town Newspaper is currently attempting to lure us in – hey, kid, you wanna read some news? This one's free.
The problem for the newspaper is that every time they leave us these copies, they demonstrate yet again the very characteristics that caused us to dismiss them as not worth the subscription. The local paper is a thin, anemic thing, which by itself wouldn't necessarily be a deal-killer; but what substance is left in that thinness? A Classified section (generally don't read); a Sports section (never read); a "Mid-Iowa" section (scan headlines, don't read); and the front section, consisting of two pages of edited-down Associated Press wire stories, one or two local stories – "Local college alum set to blast off", "Auditor: State budget is fiscally irresponsible" – and the Editorial and Letters pages.
But, see, we really don't care what the Editors think, about, well, anything. So that's another page wasted. And, let's face it, the letters written by our fellow citizens are generally poorly-worded globs of illogic, faulty reasoning, and emotionalism – in other words, just like internet commentary – but one we get for free, and one they expect us to pay for. And paying for a few column inches of watered-down AP feed? Compared to what's available online, it's like trying to drink through a micropipette.
I'm not saying the paper is of no value to anybody – someone who is well-established in the community would probably find much of the local stuff of interest. But to rootless asocial misanthropes such as we, it is of litte use. And the national news as presented is almost worse than useless. And the Op-Ed pages are definitely useless, and maybe worse.
But I must give credit where it's due: the paper had a fascinating letter in it yesterday, of a type I've not seen published in newspapers before:
TO THE EDITOR: I am charged with trespass. So be it. I do not forgive. I guess I am best confined lest I mate with a girl who is not a gentle vegan. I've become plumb loco. Pan inter American. Pilot lights are unnecessary, and most cars could do without a couple of cylinders, especially at local grades and not turbo charged. Man was not meant to partake of nature but to be her servant. Not by man's willing it, not by blood, nor by carnal desire but to serve God an nature. Muslims wrote from prison. This is only jail.If the paper continues this ground-breaking trend, can we look forward to extensive selections of Archimedes Plutonium and Robert McElwaine?
{Name}
Cell H101
Story County Jail
I formerly thought that maybe 25-30% of all Internet users were nuts. Now I realize that about 25-30% of the entire population is nuts. It took the Internet to make the truth obvious to some of us who don't catch on quickly.
Posted by: Jonathan on June 8, 2007 12:21 PM
I suppose you realize you're responsible for "the structural crisis of much of contemporary mainstream media institutions," (penultimate question here) you with your user-generated content and your travel pictures and your waxwings.
The wonderful and terrible thing about Usenet was, as Jonathan says, it made you realize how many people are just nuts. I used to think real nuts just sat trembling in their attacks, afraid their ideas would turn into insects, until some impetus made them emit their once-per-decade loony letter to the editor. Thanks to the internet, I now know that they can hold down jobs, drive, get married, reproduce, hold office, etc.
It makes staying sane seem like a mugs' game.
Posted by: Angie Schultz on June 8, 2007 01:11 PM