But maybe I'm being too harsh here... it could be one of those American-English vs. British-English things. In the same way that 'boot' in old Blighty can really mean 'car trunk', 'sausage' really is just shorthand for "gray, underdone, unseasoned organ bits and gristle' rather than 'spicy, flavorful, well-cooked pieces of...(well, let's leave it at that)'.
(He also whines that our bacon isn't undercooked, or greasy enough.)
I am ignorant of Britain - perhaps it is a wonderland of sausage-y goodness. However, the one indelible memory of have of a brief visit decades ago is the nightmarishly bland sausages presented to me at breakfast. I shudder still at the evocation.
(I've always thought that the whole point of sausage components was to serve as a substrate for one's preferred varieties of hot peppers.)
Posted by: Moira on April 21, 2007 08:32 AM
I just had some lovely sausage for breakfast, which I don't often do. It was filled with hot peppers.
I was in Britain once for a conference, and we were served the famous English breakfast every day. This consisted of:
I hate eggs, and don't eat them. But doesn't "over easy" just mean you turn the eggs over once, and don't break the yolks? As opposed to sunny side up? There's also "over hard", but I've never heard anyone order that. (I could never make my living as a short order cook -- I have never fried an egg.)
My first day in Australia my boss took me out for coffee -- it was very early in the morning -- and I was confused by the varieties of coffee on order: long black, short black, etc. He said he had the same problem ordering eggs in the US: "Sunny side up, upside down...I just want eggs!"
Posted by: Angie Schultz on April 21, 2007 01:35 PM
I always have my eggs "over hard".
But I think the most pot / kettle moments are when weblogger A writes a comment on weblog B complaining that B is spending too much time on the subject A is commenting on.
Posted by: Annoying Old Guy on April 21, 2007 08:34 PM
I always have my eggs "over hard".
But what does it mean? Do the yolks get hard if you cook them longer? Or does it mean that you body-slam the eggs when you turn them, so that the yolks break? That sounds messy.
Posted by: Angie Schultz on April 21, 2007 11:11 PM
I just means the yolks are cooked through.
I actually liked British bacon, though this was back in the early eighties when I went -- it could have gotten worse in that time. It was, as I recall, nice big meaty hunks, rather like "Canadian" bacon only not round. In fact, it was the only edible part of breakfast, which was otherwise the sort of bland, greasy fare you'd get at a crappy diner.
Anyway, I wonder if Matthew Engel is still reeling from that bad meal he had at Olive Garden, or if he ever figured out how to look for restaurants in the phone book.
Posted by: Andrea Harris on April 22, 2007 06:18 PM
I don't think Americans have much standing to give advice about breakfast.
Posted by: Jonathan on April 22, 2007 10:56 PM
I'll confess, the only British breakfasts I've eaten were really in New Zealand, but I figure that's close enough. Fortunately, we were in touristy places, usually, and could find some edible food as well.
"Over hard": yes, the yolks firm up if you cook them longer, as Andrea says. There's always the risk of the whites getting overdone and rubbery – never cared for them that way myself. (BTW, "over hard" would be a great name for a Bruce Willis movie: 'Down-on-his-luck short order cook uses his frying pans and culinary skills to free hostages and take out terrorists in a deadly cat-and-mouse game set in a small, greasy diner.')
When I was growing up, my mom would start the egg-frying process in the usual fashion, then, after the whites had set, she would add a small amount of water to the pan and cover it – the steam hard-cooked the yolks without having to take the risky step of flipping the eggs. My aunt (her sister) cooked eggs the same way, and I figured that was the way one made fried eggs. I don't think I've seen anyone else do that, though.
So it's that Matthew Engel, is it? Figures.
(Speaking of bacon – the best I've ever eaten was at Karen's Country Kitchen, Louisville (that's Loo-iss-ville), Colorado, back in the early 1990's.)
Jonathan – you can get crappy breakfasts in America; you can get sublime breakfasts as well. I would rate our standing with regard to lording it over others about breakfast pretty darn high, thankyouverymuch.
Posted by: David Fleck on April 23, 2007 07:08 AM
A sublime breakfast of fried meat and eggs is still a breakfast of fried meat and eggs, and not everyone likes that. When American breakfasts start coming with herring, good vegetables, non-lousy bread and multiple varieties of cheese, then I will reconsider. (The one good feature of English breakfasts is kippers, and that's a feature that conspicuously didn't catch on in the USA.) So go, go and eat your soggy, lard-soaked dough balls and offal and pretend that you are onto something special. Chacun a son gout, as they say in Japan.
Posted by: Jonathan on April 23, 2007 01:27 PM
You can also pop the yolks after you've fried one side, which makes the yolks cook much faster. You fry it on one side, pop the yolk with the spatula so it leaks out into the uncooked white on the top side, then flip it over. The phrase itself comes from this process, meaning that the egg has been flipped "over" (cooked on both sides) and the yolk is "hard" (cooked).
Posted by: Annoying Old Guy on April 25, 2007 03:44 PM
Jonathan, what on earth are you talking about? I've never heard of anyone eating "soggy, lard-soaked dough balls" anywhere - not even in the deepest South, which is probaby the only part of the US left where anyone dares to cook with lard.
In so far as there is a "traditional" American breakfast, it is based on the English one, minus the kippers. But in New York, Miami, and other places in the US where there are large Jewish populations, the bagels with cream cheese and lox is a popular breakfast, so there is your cheese and fish. And whole grains (oatmeal and beyond) and vegetables in crepes and omelettes are also popular breakfast fare. You can even get a good breakfast -- with all the cheese and vegetables you want -- at Denny's these days.
Posted by: Andrea Harris on April 25, 2007 06:32 PM
"Soggy, lard-soaked dough balls". Ah, so we come upon one of the great mysteries of the American breakfast - Indian Fry Bread. Mysterious in that it is served everywhere from Micosukee country to the Navajo Nation to the lands of the Sioux, places that were unlikely to share a culinary tradition. Is this a product of reservations and government surplus handout? I've never quite figured it out.
Posted by: Moira on April 25, 2007 07:21 PM
By the way, Karen's Country Kitchen did indeed serve the ultimate gringo breakfast.
Posted by: Moira on April 25, 2007 07:51 PM
Jonathan, what on earth are you talking about?
It's a metaphor, dammit. (And didn't the Indians learn the fried-bread thing from the Jamaicans?)
Anyway, bagels are OK but cream cheese is bullshit and lox is a pale substitute for good herring. Plus, tomatoes, cucumbers and onions are critical, and whose idea was it to leave out olives?
I love my country but I hate its breakfasts.
Posted by: Jonathan on April 25, 2007 09:02 PM
I'm thinking that whatever part of the US you live in, you need to move. Or learn to cook.
Posted by: Andrea Harris on April 26, 2007 07:57 PM
Oh, one of those "I love my country, but..." people. What next, baseball and motherhood? Burn the witch!
Posted by: Moira on April 26, 2007 08:57 PM
Tough crowd.
Posted by: Jonathan on April 27, 2007 12:18 AM
Hey, I didn't see all this! Fight! Fight! Fight!
"Lard-soaked doughballs" -- Is it possible Jonathan's been eating bait?
Posted by: Angie Schultz on April 29, 2007 01:10 PM
Or hushpuppies? Though how they would appear at breakfast...
Posted by: Andrea Harris on April 30, 2007 05:19 AM
David: I thought the "cook fighting terrorism" bit
was already done by Stephen Segal in one of his
movies?
Posted by: Phil Fraering on April 30, 2007 04:51 PM