Iron Horse "Vrais Amis" 1993. Ummmm, interesting, kind of. Is sparkling wine supposed to keep for 14 years? Pretty golden color, but heavy and not brutal enough for our tastes. (God, I'm so witty!) Not much of a sparkler – initially, I was afraid that the bottle would be completely flat. I wouldn't get it again. Moira didn't really care for it at all, and made me drink most of the bottle.
UPDATE: Moira finally identified what this tasted like to her – carbonated cooking sherry.
UPDATE THE SECOND: Could not, in the end, finish the bottle. This is a severe indictment.

Next, Vollereaux Brut. An unknown (to us) honest-to-God champagne. Tasty, much more complex and interesting, a distinct chalky aroma[1], loads of bubbles. Moira has been drinking it while I write this, must go back and get fair share.