Madame, could you spare some Grey Poupon? Rather interesting engagement at the cheese counter of the local grocer today. I was standing next to a woman who had struck me as a bit odd, in that peripheral, subliminal way that we humans have - she was pleasant and polite, perhaps a bit simple, perhaps just a bit skewed off the norm. She turned to me and asked, "Do you know where they keep that really soft cheese?"

I replied, "What kind of soft cheese? Do you mean perhaps something like Brie?"

"It comes in those round boxes," she said.

"There's some Brie," I said, pointing to the small wheels on the shelf directly in front of her. "Is that what you're looking for?"

She picked up the wheel and considered it thoughtfully. "Hmmm, 8.99", she murmured. "Could you help me out with this?"

Puzzled, I asked "Help you out in what way?"

"Could you buy it for me?"

I gently answered that I would not be able to do so, but had to suppress a smile. This was certainly a new one on me. I have been importuned by some of society's more marginal members, the polite or the bullying, for spare change, phone money, bus fare, a fiver for lunch, coffee - even for a drink by an honest wino or two. But I had never yet been solicited for a wheel of Brie.

Later in another aisle she stopped me and asked if I knew where the "diet food" was. I'm afraid I could not help her out there, either. (But resisted the temptation to gesture toward my avoirdupois and respond with a "Lady, do I look like I know where they keep the diet food?")

I don't relate this tale of cheese because I think it signifies anything - just thought it added a bit of whimsy to the morning's errands.


Posted by Moira Breen at 30 September 2005 09:26 AM
Comments

Welcome back.

Posted by: Carey Gage on October 1, 2005 05:20 AM

Thanks, Carey. And how's it going with you now?

Posted by: Moira on October 3, 2005 09:38 AM

Been pretty busy trying to keep two kids in college. Financial bummer, dude!

Fortunately, elder daughter graduates this spring. But she wants to go to law school. (Like me!!!) As pleased as that makes me, I'll have to start buying my red ink by the barrel, soon.

Posted by: Carey Gage on October 3, 2005 07:19 PM

Ah yes. We'll have that pleasure in a few years. College tuition is such a racket. I think all us parents should go on strike.

Of course we've told our daughter that we'll finance her education because we expect her to support us in our old age.

Posted by: Moira on October 5, 2005 01:46 PM

Excellent idea. I'll try it out.

Posted by: Carey Gage on October 6, 2005 05:46 AM

That is a good story. Now could you please open a new thread? I want to comment here, but there is a bunch of comments already and I feel crowded. Besides, you should share more stories like that one with us. I'll bet you have been accumulating good stories all summer, and now you are going to keep them all to yourself unless we do something about it.

BTW, if the lady in the store doesn't want the Brie, can you send it to me? I really like Brie. Oh, and a nice crusty baguette too if you don't mind.

Thanks.

Posted by: Jonathan on October 7, 2005 05:17 PM

The first Brie tale is free. All others will cost your own cheese-related anecdote. Alligator stories can be substitued. (Hmmm. Guess that means you have some credits built up.)

Posted by: Moira on October 8, 2005 02:13 PM

It is well known that gators love Brie. I always carry a couple of small wheels in my back pack, just in case. (You can never be too careful.) Once I was treed by some gators in the middle of a mangrove swamp. There was nowhere to run and night was about to fall. I knew the gators were waiting for darkness so that they could climb the tree. It was death. Then I remembered my Brie and in desperation I threw a wheel as far as I could. Good luck was with me that day -- the gators rushed after the cheese and I was able to scramble to my hovercraft and make my escape.

I used to complain about the price of Brie, but no longer. Let this serve as a lesson.

Posted by: Jonathan on October 8, 2005 05:10 PM

Now, Jonathan, that just seems like a tall tale to me. If gators like brie so much, why isn't France infested with the critters, not to mention delis thoughout the land?

Too bad, though. I'd pay to see a twelve foot (4 meter) gator chase Chirac down the Champs Elysee. Can't you just hear him yelling, "Ma fromage! Il veut ma fromage! Il veut ma fromage?"

Posted by: Carey Gage on October 9, 2005 02:58 PM

Oh come now, Jonathan. Everyone knows gators don't care for soft creamy cheeses. (I'm told it's the rind.) A nice Gloucester, better yet a fine Stilton - now that's what makes a gator happy. Your credibility is in shambles.

Posted by: Moira on October 9, 2005 04:32 PM

No way am I sharing my Stilton with a gator.

Posted by: Jonathan on October 9, 2005 09:41 PM

Post a comment
Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember info?