June 30, 2003
Poll - which circle of hell...? I hate smokers. I hate the utter unparalleled foulness of their stinking habit. I would never, ever let you smoke in my house. I probably wouldn't even let you smoke in my yard. I'd make you go half-way down the block and even then I'd hate you with a burning hatred for the rest of my life. When passers-by light up on the street and that filthy stench greets my delicate nostrils I long to bash their foreheads into the sidewalk until bloody and scream at them you filthy cur why couldn't you have taken up some other addiction like shooting up heroin so that your puling weaknesses should not befoul the atmosphere for better men than you you leprous toad you bag of pus you subhuman slinking naked mole rat.

But worse than smokers, I hate anti-smokers. So I love the cigarette package stickers on display over at Dr. Frank's. The BBC article referenced quotes a satanically earnest nag:

The charity No Smoking Day urged people not to buy the stickers.

Its spokeswoman Doreen McIntyre said: "It is quite amusing but I think the important thing is that this is a demonstration of how disrupting these health warnings are.

"They are causing smokers to feel that they need to cover them up

"It is a very difficult thing to be confronted with what is really in these products. All of this helps smokers to overcome their ambivalence to smoking," she told BBC News Online.

"My advice to smokers would be don't buy these stickers. Spend your money on nicotine replacement therapies instead and give up."

Oh God piss off you hell hound.


Posted by Moira Breen at June 30, 2003 03:40 PM
Comments

I too dislike smoking, but so much do I detest the hysterical anti-smoking lemmings that I have invited smokers to light up in my own dwelling. Yes, I put it all on the line for my beliefs. Just as every Jew is instructed at Passover to consider himself to have been personally enslaved in Egypt, so all freedom-loving men and women should consider themselves smokers until the health-Nazi menace is defeated.

Posted by: Jonathan Gewirtz on June 30, 2003

Good thing I live downwind of Iowa.

Cheers

Posted by: J.M. Heinrichs on July 02, 2003

Not to worry, Captain. I'm persuaded by Jonathan's argument that I have a moral duty not only to tolerate but to encourage public smoking. At least until the health nazis have been trounced. Then the hammer comes down again. But I promise it'll be for my own damn good, not yours.

Posted by: Moira on July 03, 2003

I suddenly have an urge to run out and take up cigarette smoking. I'm convinced that many of the anti-smoking crusaders are less interested in the issue and more interested in the thrill of righteous indignation.

I smoked a pipe for many years. Eventually I thought the pipe was making me sick. I went to the doctor and found out I was just a pipochondriac.

Posted by: Alex Bensky on July 29, 2003

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