December 14, 2001
NOT SOMALIA, NOT YEMEN, NOT NOT SOMALIA,
NOT YEMEN, NOT IRAQ...CANADA! Damian Penny is cheesed at Tony Adragna's
schemes for annexing Canada to the US. Adragna should be keeping quiet
about this, because the diabolical plan is coming to fruition. But he foolishly
goes so far as to mention, in the same post, the pretext we've been waiting
for patiently - as reported by the Xinhua news service
: Canada will harbor fleeing Taliban. This little news nugget was of course
planted by our operatives. And Adragna is all wrong about our needing Canada
for our Siberian-style gulags. What we're really after is, yes, the Athabaska Tar Sands! As reader John Kahn informs me:

In th[is] University of Alberta site ...it says that Athabaska's 1.7 trillion barrels is 1/3 of all known oil reserves worldwide. A staggering fact that is not really widely known in Canada, let alone the US.
Oh, we know. Weeee know.

All silliness aside, Mr. Kahn sent along some interesting links and comments when I was posting earlier about the "oil weapon myth". In addition to the University of Alberta link above, he provided a link to the Oil Sands Discovery Centre, sponsored by the Canadian Institute of Mining, Metallurgy and Petroleum, and these comments:

Note that in the Syncrude site
...they quote their recovery cost as $18 a barrel, which sounds kinda steep
and must be Canadian "pesodollars", which converts to $12 US. A major paper
up here in a business article some weeks back quoted 9$ a barrel (US funds)
as the current production cost for the 300 billion barrels that can be dug
up with shovels today (by comparison Mideast oil costs $5). The other stuff
would have to be mined with other methods when the surface stuff runs out
in several decades. Mining oil sands used to be barely worth the effort
until the production cost of synthetic crude dropped sharply in recent years
after one of the lead companies got rid of their mondo bucket wheels and
simply started digging the stuff up and trucking it out (the CEO responsible
for that was a woman I believe). [...] Canada may have its problems (mainly
related to the lack of a strong federal political opposition because of the
splintering of conservative forces in the 90s, which will resolve itself
eventually), but hey, we're only 30 million people sitting on all that oil
and we have America for a neighbour. Can't complain!
(So you see, all that stuff you hear from anti-war
types about Caspian oil and an oil pipeline in Afghanistan is just disinformation.
It's Canadian oil we're really after. We had a hard enough time
finding Pashtun- and Dari-speaking agents. We monolingual Americans would
just be a lot better off invading people who speak English. And francophone
Canada is nowhere near Athabaska.)


Posted by Moira Breen at December 14, 2001 08:49 PM
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